Step into the middle of this board room conversation …”I learned my wife doesn’t care about getting gifts or flowers, she wants me to help out around the house. Oh, not my girlfriend, if I don’t tell her how special she is to me all the time, she thinks something is wrong!” After several female board members piped in about what their beliefs were about their husbands and partners preferences, someone suggesting reading   The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman.

Being a consultant who works with companies with people conflict, I pondered on the “appreciation languages” of my consulting client’s employees…or even the  Texas Women Rockers?  

How many times had I interviewed employees who were starved for recognition from their manager? Research had reported countless times that money was not a motivator, so what could an employer do?  Most look to books for an idea list of recognition methods, without any idea of what would speak to the individual. 

If Dr. Chapman’s ideas work for love, how about for business?

With my apologies to Dr. Chapman, how about a quiz which flagged the primary way our employees want to be recognized at work?  Select your number 1 and number 2 preferred mentod of appreciation from the choices below.

APPRECIATION LANGUAGE QUIZ

I feel most valued when a person/manager/co-worker:

 ______Tells me how grateful they are for me and the things I do for them or the company

 ______ Gives me their focused attention without any interruptions

 ______Brings me a gift or other tangible item of appreciation

 ______Pitches in to help me, perhaps taking over something that I’m behind on or find routine or boring

 ______Expresses positive feelings through acceptable physical contact- like a pat on the back, high-5 or knuckle bump

To learn more about your style, go to Pat Dolen  for the “rest of the story”.

Women who rock never give up on ideas that touch their heart!

My friend Joan Portman is my current inspiration.  Yesterday I received an email from her thanking a group of us for supporting her and her dream over the years (we all belonged to the Windsor Club and met for breakfast twice a month for ten years).  She proudly notified us that her “idea that became a dream and finally…after nine years, has become reality.” 

Joan is a certified interior designer specializing in feng shui and the Founder of Healing Environments. The idea for Healing Environments came when she was caring for her father during his nine months of treatment for brain cancer.  “During his hospitalization in Texas, I brought in various personal items from home – a colorful afghan made by my mother-in-law, his favorite music and books on CD, family photos, and a beautiful orchid plant – to bring color, life and the elements of nature into his room.”   

Through her training in feng shui and interior design, Joan knew that one’s environment could help to lift the spirits of patients and their families.  When she moved from Texas to Pennsylvania she took her idea with her.  She was just as determined as ever to make it a reality and she did! 

The Healing Environments program initially kicked off in the Inpatient Oncology Unit, (St. Mary Medical Center in Pennsylvania) allowing patients to make their rooms feel more warm, cozy, friendly, and comforting by bring personalized items into their rooms.  Carts are brought to the patients’ rooms so that they can choose handmade afghans and quilts, children’s art, books, magazines, and sleep masks.  More than 500 items have been lovingly crocheted, knitted and sewn as gifts for the patients.  Each item has a “special healing prayer tucked into a heart-shaped pocket.” 

Nine years of determination, vision, and conviction have led to a program that will grow, spread and serve countless patients and families over the years to come!  And all because Joan Portman had a dream that she wouldn’t let go of – until it became a reality and now she can set it free so that it can grow through the loving support of everyone touched by her dream. 

Even though Joan now lives in Pennsylvania, I still say she’s a Texas woman who rocks! 

What’s your dream – that you won’t let go of?  Whatever it is, let Joan be your inspiration and source of energy and encouragement to keep on making your dreams a reality!

It is easy for us to blame others when things may not be going our way.   Just as this may be our knee-jerk reaction, it is equally difficult to take out the mirror and ask ourselves “what’s my part of this problem?”   However, Leaders can lead others by going first and identifying their contribution to the problem before engaging in the blame-game. 

Take a moment and shift this behavior in yourself, and get ready for better results.  When we look at ourselves first to see what we could do better, others will do the same.  Problems get resolved without making anyone get defensive.   In times like this, we can’t afford downtime filled with negative emotions, this technique is a simple tool to help boost productivity and enhance momentum. 

It starts with you.  Lead by going first.  Can you ask yourself  “what’s my part of this problem?”